I am isolating myself so much more than usual, don't give a damn about TV anymore (Well some shows I enjoy), But I look foward to the day that I will be by myself. As much as I love women (Mom and Kelly),there is a part of me say that I will be by myself for the rest of my days. I am realizing that I am looking at woman as something else, like sperm banks than a gift from God. Women have let me down so much that I can see why I view them as sperm banks than as gifts from God. There are sins that I commit that the only woman that I do not want to let down is the Blessed Virgin Mary, I can chalk it up to my condition of why I do what I do,but I am afraid that is not good enough.
I want my disabilty to kick in ASAP, so I can prove to myself and other people that I can handle this, I want to prove wrong Kelly and Mom as well as other doubter's. I am going to write more often here in my blog than I have done in the past. Mom listens whenever I gripe and I will always see my Dr's,but I do need to find some support groups, like PTSD support groups for theraputic reasons and to get out of the house.
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