alot has happenend since the last time I blogged. 2 things I have learned over these last several months are (I am sure that I have unconsciencely leaned more than 2,but right now I can't think of any) 1) stop and think before I speak and 2)I believe I walk alone,but I am not lonely.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Honoring God
Over the last couple of days (maybe weeks) I have found that I am going back to old faithfull...Prayer,so many events have happenend that for a while,like Mom is talking about moving (God willing) very soon with her boyfriend/fiance that maybe very soon I will have a place of my own. I will be going on TV to talk about brain injury and God willing by the begining of April,I will have all my teeth out,in preperation for my dentures.
There is a part of me that wants to hurry up and get this over with,but I think this is God's way of teaching me patience,plus as I have told many people I do wish a ermitical life,like a "Urban Hermit". I realize that with my condition, I need to live in a urban setting to get the proper care that I need.
And as I have told people (even though it's less than 2% chance that Kelly and I will get back together,the fact that she has not sent me the divorce papers,like she promised) Gives me hope that miracles do happenend.
It is also why I want to find a way to increase my prayer life....God is showing me some important things right now,the least I can do is honor Him with a more intense prayerfull,meditative and solitary life to ponder God's love and Mercy in my life.
There is a part of me that wants to hurry up and get this over with,but I think this is God's way of teaching me patience,plus as I have told many people I do wish a ermitical life,like a "Urban Hermit". I realize that with my condition, I need to live in a urban setting to get the proper care that I need.
And as I have told people (even though it's less than 2% chance that Kelly and I will get back together,the fact that she has not sent me the divorce papers,like she promised) Gives me hope that miracles do happenend.
It is also why I want to find a way to increase my prayer life....God is showing me some important things right now,the least I can do is honor Him with a more intense prayerfull,meditative and solitary life to ponder God's love and Mercy in my life.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
The Path of God
When I believe that God wants me to follow a certain turn in the The Path,I do my best to make that turn....I believe that God showed me a turn in the path and I followed it,only to be disappointed in the turn,not at God,but the turn. I believe that God is directing me to a place that may have some pitfalls,but I know that He is with me and I have a Great Friend and Brother to strenthen my resolve,if he sends me that way.
I believe that God also has given me a gift/burden that I will use to my utmost to help people along the way,to let them know that they are not alone and that God loves them as well as he loves me. He may love them more than me,and I think that is ok,for as long as I am Loved by Him,I will never walk alone.
I believe that God also has given me a gift/burden that I will use to my utmost to help people along the way,to let them know that they are not alone and that God loves them as well as he loves me. He may love them more than me,and I think that is ok,for as long as I am Loved by Him,I will never walk alone.
Monday, January 9, 2012
A sign from God!!!
When I came to St. Joseph,I had nothing to offer my mother except I will pay her back finacially and as soon as I can I will be outta here. Even with all that I have done,paid her back for supporting me,pay rent,utilities,etc according to my mother,her help for her condition and her boyfriend and his son have done more than I have,and at first I was upset,but I thought to myself,this another step of her living her life with her boyfriend and his son. It will be easier for me to leave. I had the landlord go throu our house to inspect,see if we we're enough for HUD standards and we passed,of all the things that need to be done,have to done by matience THANK GOD.
Last month there was a shooting in Atchison Kansas with less than 10,000 people and a police officer was serving a nusance order,not even to the perpatrator,and he got shot in the head and then the perp turn the gun on himself...Stuff like this is not supposed to happen to small town america. It's not supposed to happenend,now I wan't to purchase a gun and get a conceal carry permit and only leave my house when absoulutly neccesary. One thing that is of great comfort is my prayer life (Rosary) Thank God for that wonderfull tool against the Evil One.
When I get my teeth extracted and get my dentures,I will then go and visit my Brother/Best Friend and listen to the Lord for which way he want's me to go. Finally,even though I am happy for my mother and my understanding of the situation,I still can't help that my mother and my wife,still believe I don't do enough,even when other people (3rd person) observes and says I did well....Maybe this the way that God is saying to me "As long as I know,that's all that matter" Happy New Year Everyone,God Bless in 2012. James S. Graham
Last month there was a shooting in Atchison Kansas with less than 10,000 people and a police officer was serving a nusance order,not even to the perpatrator,and he got shot in the head and then the perp turn the gun on himself...Stuff like this is not supposed to happen to small town america. It's not supposed to happenend,now I wan't to purchase a gun and get a conceal carry permit and only leave my house when absoulutly neccesary. One thing that is of great comfort is my prayer life (Rosary) Thank God for that wonderfull tool against the Evil One.
When I get my teeth extracted and get my dentures,I will then go and visit my Brother/Best Friend and listen to the Lord for which way he want's me to go. Finally,even though I am happy for my mother and my understanding of the situation,I still can't help that my mother and my wife,still believe I don't do enough,even when other people (3rd person) observes and says I did well....Maybe this the way that God is saying to me "As long as I know,that's all that matter" Happy New Year Everyone,God Bless in 2012. James S. Graham
Saturday, December 31, 2011
End of the year.....Here's to a good 2012!!!!
You know people, one of the things that I hope will happen in 2012 is no matter what people's prejudice there is about me,my condition,my belief's is that I will make them heard and God willing,some people, if not all the people that I come in contact with.
To give an example, in 2012 (as was in 2011) I will be a supporter of Newt Gingrich,not because he is Roman Catholic,or pro-life is that he does bring fresh idea's that this country really needs,but most importantly he has admitted in the past,he not only sought reconciliation with those he hurt,but with God himself.....There is room for forgivness and for those that believe that he should not talk about "value's" and especially Christian's who call him a hypicrate,do not deserve to be called Christian or people of faith.
I believe that starting in 2012 that I will get more accomplished than I did in 2011, especially in trying to relate to people.by showing my emotional inteligence. I pray that I will display that,if God wils me to go to Omaha. The reason why I wish to return to Omaha,is because,when I left there we're a lot of people that I hurt,and I pray that I will get an oppertunity to heal the wounds that I inflicted, if it is God's will.
There is an ego part of me that not only do I wish to help people with my emotional inteligence that I wish into my world,but there is a part of me that want's to share it with the world.....I know it sounds grandiose,but when I get up in the morning,I watch MSNBC and see Morning Joe,I would like to express my opinion that I can give them,not only a piece of my mind,but a piece of my world. I have no desire to be friends with millions of viewers,but to be friends with people that are far more educated than me and let a few million people eave's drop on our conversation. To all the people that I have hurt in 2011,please accept my humblest apoligies,please pray for me and I pray that I will be given an oppertunity to heal the wounds that I have inflicted. I pray Lord that I be a good example of someone with emotional intelligence that I can use it as a servent to you my Divine Master and whoever reads this in 2012, may it serve you well.
To give an example, in 2012 (as was in 2011) I will be a supporter of Newt Gingrich,not because he is Roman Catholic,or pro-life is that he does bring fresh idea's that this country really needs,but most importantly he has admitted in the past,he not only sought reconciliation with those he hurt,but with God himself.....There is room for forgivness and for those that believe that he should not talk about "value's" and especially Christian's who call him a hypicrate,do not deserve to be called Christian or people of faith.
I believe that starting in 2012 that I will get more accomplished than I did in 2011, especially in trying to relate to people.by showing my emotional inteligence. I pray that I will display that,if God wils me to go to Omaha. The reason why I wish to return to Omaha,is because,when I left there we're a lot of people that I hurt,and I pray that I will get an oppertunity to heal the wounds that I inflicted, if it is God's will.
There is an ego part of me that not only do I wish to help people with my emotional inteligence that I wish into my world,but there is a part of me that want's to share it with the world.....I know it sounds grandiose,but when I get up in the morning,I watch MSNBC and see Morning Joe,I would like to express my opinion that I can give them,not only a piece of my mind,but a piece of my world. I have no desire to be friends with millions of viewers,but to be friends with people that are far more educated than me and let a few million people eave's drop on our conversation. To all the people that I have hurt in 2011,please accept my humblest apoligies,please pray for me and I pray that I will be given an oppertunity to heal the wounds that I have inflicted. I pray Lord that I be a good example of someone with emotional intelligence that I can use it as a servent to you my Divine Master and whoever reads this in 2012, may it serve you well.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Calling from God (Or so I think!!!)
I think that old saying is true right now...God laughs,when men make plans....That is so true,but I do believe that God has allowed me to make plans for the future,so in case God doesn't want me to go to one place,there are options.
Some of the goals that I have when I moved to St. Joseph have come to fruition,like getting on disability,having housing,getting new teeth,etc. I still have a ways to go,but I am getting there. When I make plans for the future,mom said it best,that when you move,don't run away from something,run to something and that is so true, There are so many options that now I have to ask God to give me patience.
God,I want to do your will,please guide and protect me. Each day that goes by,I have to stop and wondered if I am supposed to return to Omaha,or go to a new experience like Pasadena California be near my brother Steve or go to Manhattan,Kansas and be near my Godparents. August 29th is a day that I cannot forget,even though symptoms did not suffice until much later,I pray that God will lead me back to Omaha. I say Omaha,cause my wife (Whom I seperated from) has said she would file for divorce,she has not,each day that goes by,leads me to believe that she does not (If she reads this or this is passed on to her,SHE IS NOT WORTH STALKING) But I am old school,when your word is your bond,even though I fall short of that....If she is an independant woman and does not need a man,file the divorce papers and put me outta my misery....Or I can come back,not full of ego and help in any way possible.
God lead my way and guide my path. Until later
Some of the goals that I have when I moved to St. Joseph have come to fruition,like getting on disability,having housing,getting new teeth,etc. I still have a ways to go,but I am getting there. When I make plans for the future,mom said it best,that when you move,don't run away from something,run to something and that is so true, There are so many options that now I have to ask God to give me patience.
God,I want to do your will,please guide and protect me. Each day that goes by,I have to stop and wondered if I am supposed to return to Omaha,or go to a new experience like Pasadena California be near my brother Steve or go to Manhattan,Kansas and be near my Godparents. August 29th is a day that I cannot forget,even though symptoms did not suffice until much later,I pray that God will lead me back to Omaha. I say Omaha,cause my wife (Whom I seperated from) has said she would file for divorce,she has not,each day that goes by,leads me to believe that she does not (If she reads this or this is passed on to her,SHE IS NOT WORTH STALKING) But I am old school,when your word is your bond,even though I fall short of that....If she is an independant woman and does not need a man,file the divorce papers and put me outta my misery....Or I can come back,not full of ego and help in any way possible.
God lead my way and guide my path. Until later
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
The things that go through my mind
In so many ways,I want to live like the philosophy of Albert Einstein "I don't know what drives me hazy,Am I insane or is everyone else insane? I just got finished watching comic greats like Robin Williams and Bernie Mac and I think the difference between them and I is they went to school to master there craft,there insanity...Hell, I have been dealing with behaviour like them,so I don't need to go to school to train,like them,I am insane,lol.
Man I wish I could get my own place,I need to move out and be on my own,I hate living with my Mom,she's great,but I need my own place to practice my insanity. I must also admit each day that goes by and Kelly does not send me divorce papers,is another day of hope.
God be with me,let me be more consistant on my prayers,my rosary.
Man I wish I could get my own place,I need to move out and be on my own,I hate living with my Mom,she's great,but I need my own place to practice my insanity. I must also admit each day that goes by and Kelly does not send me divorce papers,is another day of hope.
God be with me,let me be more consistant on my prayers,my rosary.
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